Exploring how we feel & conflict resolution

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Techniques of Reflective Interaction within High/ Scope Nursery Education

High/Scope evolved as a practice based on the following three areas of study: practical interpretation of Piaget, observations of children, and traditional nursery school practices.

The adult’s role is predominantly informal with an emphasis on listening to the speech of the child, respectfully participating in the child’s pretend and role playing activities, and creatively supporting language development, which includes a special emphasis on verbal reflection of the child’s activities and disposition. The High/Scope approach presents that:-

  • ‘learning comes from within’
  • ‘personal initiative’ directs the child’s active learning
  • Control needs to be shared between the adults and children

‘The adult’s role is to support and guide young children through their active learning adventures and experiences.’   (Hohmann, 2002:3)

  • The adults do not dominate, direct or overpower the child’s choices of activity and emergent style of learning.

In agreement with this approach the work of Rachel Pinney presented that

‘the power to learn resides in the child’ (Pinney,1992:3-5) and that:- ‘In Learner-Directed-Learning the learner decides what, when, how much and in what manner he wants to learn…….He is learning at his own pace at his own selection and in his own way…..’ (Pinney,1992:12&13)

Within the High/Scope approach to early year’s education, there appears to be a strong emphasis on passive reflection of the child’s egocentric perceptual and social disposition.  Having acknowledged the child’s present level of engagement the supporting adult’s reflective language is thought to facilitate the child’s further development of socialised language and thinking.  In this way the adult reflects the child’s level of mental development at that particular time and this style of adult assistance is thought to encourage the child’s intellectual progress.

The High Scope approach to conflict resolution

The six stages presented by High Scope for addressing conflict resolution are listed below. This approach embraces the Creative Listening approach originally presented by Rachel Pinney as shown in brackets.

  1. Approach quickly and calmly
  2. Acknowledge the children’s situation (Reflecting)
  3. Gather information     (Listening & Reflecting)
  4. Restate the problem               (Recapping)
  5. Ask for ideas for solutions    (Open ended Question, Listening & Reflecting)
  1. Be prepared to give follow-up support.       (Listen, reflect, recap, question)

The Reggio approach to children’s early year’s education presents children as competent learners, personally responsible for their own actions and their own educational development, in charge of developing their own abilities, embracing their own goals and their own thinking within a holistic integration of information and understanding. Teachers in the Reggio schools organically organise their own approach to situations which integrates of all the above considerations related to creative and reflective listening, special time and conflict resolution.

The High/Scope and Reggio Emilia approach to the role of adults in Nursery Education

 

Type of communication

(Adult to child)

 

Style of Content

(Adult/Child)

 

The child/ren’s Participation

Adult’s variable spectrum of disposition and context
Suggestive Consideration

 

What was used    –  apparatus

How it was used  – method

What happened  – results

 

 

 

Information

 

 
Opinion

 

Choices

 

Awareness of Environmental materials and their potential within the context of play.

Actions and activities related to play and learning.

Attitude and internal motivation.

Expansion

 

New activities

Extended use of environment

and materials

Motivated by an external

environmental and/or social input

Directive Authoritative       Instructions  

Freedom

 

 
Boundaries

Presentation of Boundaries       Social contact/ environmental structure
Consequences

 

      Results related to actions. (e.g. Plan – Do – Review )
Reflective Listening and observing

 

A passive role that

gives maximum attention

Compassion

 

 
Specified (pre-formulated) attitudes, ideas and beliefs.

Reflective verbal commentary and body language Participation

through meaningful recapping

Feedback that supports reflective enquiry Understanding

the situation/issue …….

Questions That invite

a listening space for the expression of emotions and feelings

“How do you feel about..   E.g. going to school in the car with Tom.?”

“How is it for you that…..e.g. Simon ate your biscuit?”

 

 

Open Questions

 

 

 
Closed Questions

expression of additional detail and information  extension of thoughtful consideration and enquiry What are you going                           to do now the…..?

What do you think………?

Pinney, R. Creative Listening(5th Ed.) London: Children’s Hours Trust, 1992.

Hohmann, M. and Weikart, D.P. Educating Young Children(2nd Ed.) Ypsilanti: High/Scope Press, 2002

Emotional Disturbance

Michael Gazzaniga writes “the left brain weaves its stories in order to convince itself that you are in complete control.” (Cited in the Introduction of ‘Loving What Is’ by Louise Hay.)

Anger is commonly associated with a left brain dominance that creates a dramatic view of the situation. This can be caused by an external excess of language stimulation and/or socially dominating behaviour, which disturbs a person’s sense of safety and separates them from their own confidence and heart, soul-spirit energies. The author relates left brain dominance with that of abstract mind which directs thoughts that are not grounded in personal experience or personal understanding. The abstract mind contains imaginative thinking and thoughts related to survival and primitive, stimulus lead, behaviour. Thus our abstract thinking can dominate our feelings with fears and separate us from our ability to relate to consequences and higher levels of consciousness

Anger is caused by hormones (e.g. adrenalin and testorone) that trigger chemical reactions in the brain and associated behaviour that is predominantly related to personal needs, comforts and desires.

Fear is related to primal/primitive issues of survival and safety.

Control– primitive dominance initiated by male energy through a desire to control another person’s actions, punish, intimidate or get revenge.

Low self esteem lack of confidence, disempowerment, emotional disturbance, vulnerability,  not feeling good enough to meet what is perceived as required or requested or demanded, i.e. overwhelmed by external demands and unable to establish a personal appreciation and purposeful engagement with one’s life.

Fear and anger are faithful friends. They live together in the house called personal survival. Their house has no windows and only one very small door!

‘Many people would rather die for their beliefs-or kill others- than change them. ’ [What God Wants by Neale Donald Walsch [HoddenMobias, 2005:142]

These abstract thoughts are often associated with language dominance, verbal expression and a heightened state of sensitivity to environmental stimulus – especially verbal communication presented by one or more persons.

In order to overcome anger one needs to counteract a strong level of dominant abstract thinking. Abstract thoughts and emotional dominance are commonly associated with dramatic emotional reactions based on: fears, related beliefs and competitive survival issues. instigate integration between left and right hemispheric brain activity.  This can be done by using techniques such as such as tapping, thoughts of gratitude, appreciation, aesthetic beauty, movement and physical exercise, creative activity, low stimulus environments, singing, dancing, prayer,  chanting, meditation, going inside to find the feelings that are being suppressed, acknowledging these feelings authentically, expressing feelings through some form of communication i.e. language, pictures, expressive sounds, exercises that uses co-ordination, strength, stamina and focus or endurance.  All the above activities instigate activity in the right hemisphere and encourage hemispheric integration.

Integration between left and right hemispheric brain activity is the first step towards clearing a state of abstract mind and heightened dominance of imaginative fears associated with over dramatic and emotional perspectives. Activities that are supportive to hemispheric integration include:-

  • Movement and physical exercise that uses co-ordination, strength, stamina and focus or endurance.
  • Creative activity such as juggling, knitting and weaving; natural environments; prayer; dancing; chanting, (chanting on beads is very effective), singing and music-making activities – improvised music making is more effective than formal reproduction of a musical repertoire.

Some therapeutic self-help techniques also address techniques that integrate left and right brain hemispheric interactivity. These include E.F.T. Emotional Freedom Technique[www.tapping.com/videos/introduction-to-tapping.html – For free E.F.T teach yourself videos; Brad Yates on You -tube; E-Book tap Yourself Free [Tapping [page 60 Part 1 Self-help, Self-enquiry, Self-healing] is a technique that can help to free a person from persistent or inappropriate negative emotions, thoughts and beliefs.

It is a simple technique that is easy to learn. It can be done at any time when the person is alone, or with the support of another non-judgemental person who is more experienced in the technique. This and other self-help techniques are described within Self-help, Self-healing Part 1. The book ‘ANGER’ by ThichNhatHanh looks at how Buddhist wisdom can help cool the flames of anger and transform explosive emotions into miracles of mindfulness and peace.

A loving attitude can encourage levels of freedom that support creative win-win solutions.

When we feel anger arising within ourselves it can be helpful to ask the following three questions of self-enquiry:-

  1. What is it that I would like to have control of in this situation?
  2. What is it that is scary for me when I do not have the control I would like to have in this situation.
  3. How can I change the environment to meet my needs more positively without trying to control my own or anyone else’s behaviour; [releasing anger in a safe environment could be helpful whether it be writing out grievances or safely hitting out at something like a punch bag.]

 

A simple example of the above questions can be related to my feelings when Iam taking my two terriers into the woods and they run off and disappear for long periods.

Question 1 – Answer: I would like my dogs to stay with me when we are out walking together.

Question 2 – Answer: I get scared that I will have to spend a long time waiting around for them when I would like to go home and get on with other activities. I am scared if I leave them to get home on their own they may get run over by a car or that if they are away a long time they may have got into some kind of difficulty and once it is dark I will not be able to look for them or find them.

Question 3 – Answer: I can keep one or both of them on their extending leads when I do not want them to run off on their own adventures. I can take them for walks on the beach or over open fields where I can keep a better watch on where they are and call them back if they go too far. I can explore what training techniques might help the dogs feel motivated to come when called. For example use a dog whistle when they may not be able to hear my voice call and associate the use of the dog whistle with important things they like. For my dogs food is of little importance but going with me when I go out in the car is important to them. Therefore, I use the whistle (at home and when out) to signal that they need to come quickly or they may get left behind when I drive off in the car. [Jeffrey Masson in his book ‘Dogs Never Lie About Love’ (pages 166-169) describes a similar example. All his books present interesting reading as he describes examples of observed animal behaviour, human interaction with animals and associated perspectives.]

Being angry and stressed or upset rarely, if ever, resolves any uncomfortable situation and inevitably pushes away any chance of finding positive solutions. There are always positive ways of responding to a stressful situation, alongside a constructive way of changing the environment to support a positive solution. Creative thinking is the key to successful solutions and creative thinking requires an integration of left and right brain activity alongside of a calm and assertive disposition and thinking skills that are uniquely authentic

Three ways that will help to resolve issues of conflict, anger and stress:-

  • Always address an issue from the ‘I’ perspective.
  • Be honest and authentic and realistic in what the ‘I’ perspective presents to others.
  • Avoid projecting feelings on to other people’s situations and/or behaviour. We only criticise those aspects in others that are reflective, or oppositional, to issues of disturbance that remain unresolved within ourselves.

When presenting something to someone else we might often describe what they have done or not done You…….,thenyou…….etc. Obviously the person knows what he or she did. What we want them to know is how we felt about it; therefore we need to be sharing our own perspective. This is easily done if the things we say ALL start from I.……

A good habit of communicating from ‘I……..’  is essential for both myself and the person I am trying to talk to. This will in itself establish the second perspective of honesty, authenticity and realistic perspectives. The third point is also easier when the first two principles are established. However there is another important issue of keeping myself out of other people’s business. Michael Bernard Beckwith in his book ‘The Answer Is YOU’ (Pub, Agape,2011) writes about how this perspective enhances our relationship with ourselves and everyone and everything around us. This he says ‘…requires a wholehearted commitment to cut through to the core of your being, to the transcendental self that you are……When we choose to evolve our mind-sets and heart-sets then self-empowerment, love, abundance, joy, freedom – all that seems just beyond our grasp or that slips between our fingers –  are tapped from within and released into our experience.’ ( Cygnus Review Issue 7 Oct 2011:4 0155 www.cygnus-books.co.uk)

Sharing: When two people’s energies unite in an activity that brings good to both parties and those with whom they associate.

Caring: When the nobility of man and the compassion of woman are complimentary to those around them and thereby can be experienced in the light of sharing and receiving.

Receiving: When our endeavours initiate Divine mercy.                               (Helena)