Creative parenting – as best you can.
- Give and receive through a natural and authentic open hearted disposition. Give and receive eye contact from and through the heart.
- ‘Life wasn’t meant to be serious.’ Nurture the playful approach and share special time and reflective listening as every day experience.
- Kindness and compassion and the intimacy of physical contact which expresses feelings of sharing with understanding.
- Ask a practical questions relating to the present situation. This includes the classic questions: how are you feeling right now, can I help you, can’t we work together(with the issue in focus) to find a way that feels good for both of us/all of us.
- Give clear instructions/information i.e.Boundaries and information about related choices
- Avoid non essential verbal communication and repeating what you have already said. Children often pretend they are not listening in order to gain time to comprehend and find their own feelings and thoughts and organize how to present these through a language form of communication .
- Speak in the positive. g. ‘Don’t jump in the puddles I don’t want you to get your trousers wet and muddy’ –v- ‘Please go around the puddles so that you can keep your trousers warm and dry.
- Pause after the child has spoken. Pause after you have spoken. Pausing for thought is an essential ingredient for language comprehension, genuine listening and authentic verbal expression.
- Rest-change toa slower pace. Support the creation of quiet moments of stillness, letting go and breathing out.
- Share your passions, celebrate together express gratitude or even in relation to the smallest things. When things get challenging and feelings become negative or fear based find a way to express gratitude.
- Firm boundaries are those that are held not controlled, holding should be based on heart-full love and kindness. Discipline is severe and there by derives too hard, dominating and suppressing natural opportunities for learning through experience.
- Teach by example this is the best resource for parents, team teaching, sharingand caring,and learning walk your talk. It is harder to forgive lethargy and ignorance than genuine misguided passions of commitment
- Live your life as a unique individual with authentic interaction with the pleasures and challenges of living and learning. This gives your children permission to live and learn as unique individuals with their own strengths and interests. Good manners and courtesy need not mean living to please, satisfy, or bring purpose to others
- Sharing is an essential part of social physical and intellectual development. Personal interaction is a very important part of family life; try not to let impersonal and passive forms of entertainment become a free baby sitter.
Passive entertainment is generally exclusive of social interaction. The activities are defined by a pre-determined repertoire of response to a structure of environmental stimulus.
Examples of passive entertainment(i.e. activities that do not include inter-personal co-operation.)
- Repetitively reactive man-made toys.
- Small Lego
- Television
- Junk food,sugary sweets, chocolate and coffee and peppermint.
- Over stimulating new and exciting environments.
- Dominating adult speeds of activity and adult schedules.
- Libertarianism, I can do anything I want, and you can do anything you
- Rigid routines a mechanical or theatrical style of response that excludes individuality and authenticity.
- When the ‘don’t know’ response become a ‘yes’, and the ‘you shouldn’t really’ becomes ‘it’s OK I’ll pretend I can’t see.’
- When verbal communication is too intense or too heavy it creates verbal domination and verbal overwhelm.
- Adult initiated/motivated/enforced apprenticeship into clubs and classes,e.g. ballet or boxing. [Only when attendance is genuinely child motivated and appropriate to the child’s ability, personality, age and development will the child develop a genuine empathy and interest.]
- Adult entertainment-adults social events, cinema, theatre, dining out etc.